Best of Bluesky – Volume 3
More fun from the great blue sky above. Follow these folks.
With the release of The Mandalorian and Grogu, we are going to see a big uptick in adoptions. As someone who works in Grogu rescue, I will remind you: when you adopt a Baby Yoda, you are committing to its . Grogus can live up to 900 years. They can also move shit around your apartment.
— Lauren Flans (@laurenflans.bsky.social) May 18, 2026 at 2:59 PM
Running list of people the Beastie Boys would have eventually name checked had it not been for MCA’s untimely passing:
Timothée Chalamet
Rick Brunson
The Bagel Boss
Brian Scalabrine
Honey Boo Boo
John Harbaugh
Ken Bone— Christian Alsis (@christianalsis.bsky.social) May 30, 2026 at 9:29 PM
TREBEK: Feel free to ask these diminutive spirits for sexual favors, but don’t say “guten Tag” — they’re not actually German!
me: who are the slut gnomes of false berlin
TREBEK: Bizarre little men. You’re still in control of the board— vrunt (@vrunt.social) August 13, 2025 at 11:20 AM
BJÖRK: I äm a hömosexüal nöw
ME: that's nice björk
BJÖRK: i häve süch a beäutifül gïrlfrïends
ME: im happy for you björk
— baby cigarette (@mommywiseau.bsky.social) June 5, 2026 at 10:00 PM
[First day as boss at Wacky, Inc.] ME: [sips from mug] CLOWN: Sir, the security guards are out of silly string!
ME: [spits out jelly beans]— John (@notheotherjohn.bsky.social) July 23, 2023 at 8:34 PM
I knew she'd be trouble the minute she walked into my office, stumbled, knocked over the hat rack, then somehow got her feet entangled in my trench coat and, arms whirling like propellers as she tried to stay upright, sent my bourbon bottle flying, which spilled and ignited, then
— Howard Mittelmark (@howardm.bsky.social) September 3, 2023 at 1:03 PM
🎶 MOTOR LODGE
🎶 WHAT’S YOUR PRICE PER NIGHT— batkaren (a/k/a kt roth) (@batkaren.bsky.social) May 17, 2026 at 11:13 PM
I GET LOGGED OUT. BUT I LOG IN AGAIN
— warrior cop (@wyattprivilege.bsky.social) May 18, 2026 at 8:55 PM
Nobody wants a CEO to give a commencement speech. Put a Muppet up there. Those grads earned some fun.
— Brian McFadden (@mcfadden.bsky.social) May 17, 2026 at 12:09 PM
— Mr. Joshua (@pantspants.bsky.social) May 19, 2026 at 10:44 AM
DOCTOR: "So what seems to be the problem?"
PATIENT: "Mmhbbhhggr hhruuh engghhuu."
DOCTOR: "I'm sorry I can't understand, but don't worry. Great singer Bob Dylan is in town. Go see his show and no matter what ails you, you'll feel better!"
PATIENT (sadly): "Ehg ddnghh m'm Bddnnn."— Daniel Radosh (@radosh.bsky.social) June 6, 2026 at 10:46 PM
Just saw an egregious offender
— Mike Schuster (@mcs212.bsky.social) May 19, 2026 at 5:17 PM
When I go to CVS to pick up a prescription, even though I'm always clearly wearing a metal band shirt, about half of the time some patron asks me a question and I have to be like "I don't work here"?? I can only assume this is due to the way I confidently stride around places
— House of 1000 Fionas (@cogentanalysis.bsky.social) September 12, 2023 at 5:41 PM
ChatGPT: you’re right you’re so much smarter than him. He’s so schlubby and you’re so suave. Columbo will never catch you.
— Ernest Luckman (@ernieluckman.bsky.social) April 15, 2026 at 8:22 AM
— Museum of Twitter (@museum-of-twitter.bsky.social) June 5, 2026 at 12:48 PM
coworker: *heart emoji reaction*
me: I'm married susan
— dan mentos (@danmentos.com) May 15, 2026 at 2:11 PM
New house is powered almost entirely by an ancient obelisk out the back I’m saving so much money
— tara (@weedlejuice.bsky.social) January 13, 2026 at 9:37 PM
Well, it happened again. I got put on the jumbotron at the grocery store and everyone booed my groceries
“Spelunker.” Such a funny word. Anyway, have they found your husband yet?
— Kip Conlon (@kipconlon.bsky.social) June 5, 2026 at 12:20 PM
They call me Mr. Minds His Own Business (I assume)
YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK
— Alex McMillan (@undeniablyalex.bsky.social) May 23, 2026 at 1:16 PM
Guy with visible stink lines: the birth rate,
— journeyman folklorist (@aniceburrito.bsky.social) May 17, 2026 at 1:07 PM
Sigh… This is the part of the job I hate. *works 9-5, Monday-Friday*
— kid gruesome (@smeagolsfree.bsky.social) December 16, 2024 at 12:53 PM
Heck yeah I like UFOs
U nlimited
F rench
O nion
s oup— Ygrene (@ygrene.bsky.social) May 5, 2026 at 8:59 AM
It is with great regrets that I cannot go to Don Jr. wedding. I would love to be at the wedding of Don Jr., who is my son, and to the woman, but too many important duties make it impossible, including the war, which we have won, and also Grogu movie. Many Grogu duties. Grogu will be at White House.
— Rob Wesley (@eastwes.bsky.social) May 22, 2026 at 1:52 PM
Heres a simple trick even an idiot can do
Make a pot of coffee, boil up a bunch of hot dogs in there. You got yourself a feed of jitter dogs. Simple
— Truckstop Vigilante (@brenthor.bsky.social) February 14, 2024 at 5:46 PM
My doctor kept trying to sell me some medical grade BBQ sauce he’d made until a much larger doctor walked in and told him to stop.
— Anthony D. Herrera (@aherrera.bsky.social) May 26, 2026 at 5:31 PM
Pointing to a girls airpods on the train and mouthing "Hoobastank?"
— Apple Bottom Jings (@afraidofwasps.bsky.social) May 28, 2026 at 2:30 PM
I also get booed wherever I go, due to my ways
— donni saphire (@donni.bsky.social) June 8, 2026 at 9:03 PM
she was right about everything
— Sweatpants Cher (@housefeminist.bsky.social) August 17, 2025 at 5:15 AM
delivered! driver left package in dark hole with water
— /\/ / /< /< (@nikk.ca) April 9, 2026 at 5:35 PM
Have we tried a long, piercing trumpet note to reset everything? Should we?
— Michael Jay McClure (@mjmimages.bsky.social) March 30, 2026 at 2:46 PM
just caught a whiff of BO so powerful it unlocked memories from a past life. i remember you man. 12th century bazaar, you were fucking me over on a pound of grain
— bog landlord (@pondslurp.bsky.social) June 5, 2026 at 2:20 PM
— Good Trailcams (@goodtrailcams.bsky.social) May 23, 2026 at 10:59 AM
Greetings and good morning it’s the Sunday farm rush hour with Kate
— Chris and his farmily of forever farm friends (@caenhillcc.bsky.social) June 7, 2026 at 4:08 AM
Every text I send my friends includes a brief bio of myself in case they forgot
— Laura Bassett (@lebassett.bsky.social) June 8, 2026 at 11:47 AM
I have a specific meme folder titled "for when I'm sad"
— Rad O'Brien, Chief Engineer 🔵 (@radobrien.myatproto.social) May 13, 2026 at 7:50 PM
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