Best of Bluesky – Volume 5
In the grand tradition of the first four volumes of Best of Bluesky, I have complied for you another raucous roundup of very funny posts from very funny people. There’s a blue “Follow” button on every post, click each one of those to enjoy more of the good stuff.
Sports teams unveiling a new third jersey are always like “the brown stripe is a nod to our town’s original nickname, Sewer City”
— Dan Hopper (@danhopp.bsky.social) July 27, 2026 at 10:38 AM
Sleep talking boyfriend expectations:
No… This is wrong… You’re her best friend!Sleep talking boyfriend reality: [unintelligible] [unintelligible] the mizzenmast
— BayBayFriend (@baybayfriend.bsky.social) July 20, 2026 at 12:48 AM
I’m doing the best I can, and also the worst I can get away with
— donni saphire (@donni.bsky.social) July 24, 2026 at 12:48 AM
Ordering off the secret menu at the barbershop to get my haircut “animal style”
— Steve (@extranapkins.bsky.social) July 27, 2026 at 12:50 PM
“I’m always late.”
Hahahah ok cute. I don’t care what the reason is STOP IT.
— Erin Whitehead (@girlwithatail.bsky.social) July 27, 2026 at 1:18 PM
A company where we get to explore stage sets. Look in the fake cabinets. Walk up the stairs to a crude landing. Lie on a rising platform. Swing from the branches of a stylized tree. Maybe try on a helmet. Ride in a plexiglass cube. It’s all I want.
— Michael Jay McClure (@mjmimages.bsky.social) July 22, 2026 at 11:32 AM
I’ve got a pretty bad case of banana backpack 😔 (I put a banana in my backpack and now it smells like banana in my backpack)
— House of 1000 Fionas (@cogentanalysis.bsky.social) June 26, 2025 at 10:11 PM
sick of diarrhea being a trend. my culture is not your costume.
— will buikema (@willbuikema.bsky.social) July 15, 2026 at 11:10 AM
[Coming back from a 20-minute bathroom break] It’s OK, it was regular diarrhea
— Subscribe to Radio Free America (link in bio) (@kleinman.bsky.social) July 22, 2026 at 1:14 PM
One of my strongest-held opinions is that the “track listing” section should be higher on the Wikipedia page for an album.
— Barry Petchesky (@barryp.bsky.social) July 19, 2026 at 1:16 PM
you know who else loves me just the way I am, horseflies
— Dan Cerinthedark (@etbeeegood.bsky.social) July 17, 2026 at 9:03 AM
Heard they put your name forward to hold dominion over beast and man alike..congrats man
saw my doctor at the grocery store and he was using his stethoscope to see if the honeydew melons were ripe
— Ygrene (@ygrene.bsky.social) May 13, 2026 at 3:38 PM
video games are so good
— pmcTRILOGY (@pmctrilogy.bsky.social) July 21, 2026 at 4:31 PM
This is absolutely killing me.
— Dan Ryckert (@danryckert.com) July 19, 2026 at 3:02 PM
My wife left me by doing the “stairs behind the sofa” thing, and never came back
— Toby 🇵🇸 (@tobestewart.bsky.social) July 22, 2026 at 8:40 AM
Pro wrestling themed coffee shop named Chief Jay Strongbrew’s. Is this anything??
— Banshees of Atlantic City (@acbanshees.bsky.social) July 27, 2026 at 10:35 AM
when you get mad at me this is whomst you’re mad at
— Marjorie James Keenan (@unenthusiast.com) July 18, 2026 at 1:24 AM
Sadly the fight between my coworkers is not to the death
— Princess of Whales (@princessofwhales2.bsky.social) March 12, 2026 at 3:48 PM
New York Times “Vows” section, but it’s about people who vow to destroy their enemies, and whether or not they succeeded.
— Howard Mittelmark (@howardm.bsky.social) July 2, 2026 at 1:54 PM
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Let him who is without stone come down to Steve’s Stone Supply, Exit 13A off the NJ Turnpike, for all your stone needs.
when there’s a map at the beginning of a book? brother I am IN
— Matt Ufford (@mattufford.bsky.social) July 16, 2026 at 10:36 AM
The last time I “read a book” I learned that there’s a skeleton inside my body. Never again.
— vineyille (@vineyille.bsky.social) July 12, 2026 at 9:01 PM
📍 hot single goths inside your walls
— Deeny they/them (@geraldinepiche.bsky.social) July 25, 2026 at 11:27 AM
ARTICLE: Here are seven methods to preserve your berries, painstakingly tested and photographed and ranked to find the best one, accompanied by some folksy and informative text.
THE COMMENTS: This is laughable. You make me laugh. My way is different, and it’s better, you dumb bitch.
— Patrick Cosmos (@veryimportant.lawyer) July 25, 2026 at 8:14 AM
Welcome to Hell
— Colin (@colin-fraser.net) July 28, 2026 at 1:59 AM
The reason Philadelphia is the best sports city is because every time there is a headline saying Philadelphia is the worst sports city, the thing they have done is objectively funny.
— Gourmet Spud (@gourmetspud.bsky.social) July 14, 2026 at 1:36 PM
Happy Shark Week to those who celebrate
— Blake Wexler (@blakewexler.bsky.social) July 28, 2026 at 10:58 AM
Finally dug up my favorite Odyssey tweet ever
[image or embed]
— sky (@iamspacegirl.bsky.social) July 22, 2026 at 8:54 AM
Thinking about how before he was Scrooge he was Ebenezer
— Dan Clyne (@danclyne.bsky.social) July 26, 2026 at 7:42 PM
Get Yourself a Fun T-shirt!
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