Follow Me on Bluesky
I write jokes and dole out music trivia on Bluesky, a social media platform that is currently good (not overtly problematic).
While driving past a tattoo shop I asked my kids what's the best tattoo parlor in the Star Wars universe (ready to wow them with TATTOOine's) and my daughter silenced me with Jar Jar Inks.
— Jeff (@gojeffgo.com) August 10, 2023 at 10:05 PM
Not exactly sure why I didn’t get selected for jury duty, but it was nice to wear my homemade Batman costume out in public again.
— Jeff 💀 (@gojeffgo.com) March 7, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Robert Plant: “I just wrote a song about a girl”
Jimmy Page (relieved): “Cool! A love song?”
RP: “Yes, about finding my true love”
JP: “Great, a classic love song”
RP: “Well it does take place in the darkest depths of Mordor. And there’s a weird little guy”
JP (under breath): “fuck, this again”
— Jeff 💀 (@gojeffgo.com) February 10, 2025 at 8:45 PM
“I have a bomb, I want $200,000 and a parachute, and yes, it was Janet Leigh in The Manchurian Candidate (1962). You know her from Psycho and Bye Bye Birdie.” – IMDb Cooper
— Jeff Lyons (@gojeffgo.com) May 30, 2025 at 8:49 AM
kind of regretting teaching my parrot the Tears in Rain monologue
— Jeff Lyons (@gojeffgo.com) May 13, 2025 at 9:32 AM
Soon-to-be disappointed metalhead tween going through your record collection, “Massive Attack, Thievery Corporation, Destroyer, Murder by Death, 10,000 Maniacs… hell yes.”
— Jeff Lyons (@gojeffgo.com) May 13, 2025 at 8:25 PM
The key to staying alive in outer space is resisting the urge to investigate a distress beacon.
— Jeff Lyons (@gojeffgo.com) April 16, 2025 at 9:40 PM
You: “Jeff, it was an historically bad week, tell me something fun.”
Me: “Love Will Tear Us Apart” by Joy Division was a direct response to the popular pop song “Love Will Keep Us Together” by Captain & Tennille.
My beautiful girl Starr doesn’t have a tail and people (especially little kids) get a kick out of the large black spot on her butt so I thought I’d share it.
— Jeff Lyons (@gojeffgo.com) June 26, 2024 at 8:13 PM
When a little kid is showing you every single shell they collected on the beach and you want to keep the process moving along, it’s best to reply “That’s a good shell” every time.
when you know you’re about to destroy at show and tell
my kid showing me a “funny” tiktok
*Thom Yorke voice*
— Jeff Lyons (@gojeffgo.com) August 23, 2023 at 9:32 PM
picturing this sweet little guy choosing the fonts and a flattering photo, loading the paper in the printer, and then scampering about and posting these all around the neighborhood
— Jeff (@gojeffgo.com) January 19, 2024 at 7:45 PM
Ernie: a world-class big boy.
— Jeff (@gojeffgo.com) May 30, 2025 at 7:56 PM
